Has anyone even bothered to ask why the tuna are eating mercury?
—Jim Gaffigan
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The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
— Tenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution
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A general dissolution of principles and manners will more surely overthrow the liberties of America than the whole force of the common enemy. While the people are virtuous they cannot be subdued; but when once they lose their virtue then will be ready to surrender their liberties to the first external or internal invader.
—Samuel Adams, 1779
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In truth, German character—so admired and feared in some 500 years of European literature and history—led to the present Germanization of Europe. These days we recoil at terms like “national character” that seem tainted by the nightmares of the past. But no other politically correct exegesis offers better reasons why a booming Detroit of 1945 today looks like it was bombed, and a bombed-out Berlin of 1945 now is booming.
—Victor Davis Hanson, writing at Townhall.com
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A tip for guys who like to wear speedos. It helps to carry a potato in your speedo. But make sure you wear it in the front.
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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.
—Jackie Gleason
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